Holiday Healing Mass held for separated and divorced Catholics

Dominican Father Dan Davis, pastor of St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Center in West Lafayette, Ind., tells separated and divorced Catholics during his homily on Dec. 2 that when we help others we become “a people of light, a people of hope” during Advent and throughout the year. He was the celebrant for the Holiday Healing Mass for Separated and Divorced Catholics held at St. Pius X Church in Indianapolis.

By Mary Ann Wyand

Broken promises can lead to broken hearts and broken marriage vows.

That reality is especially painful for separated or divorced Catholics and their families who are grieving during the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.

“You struggle with the separation in your life,” Dominican Father Dan Davis said in his homily during the Holiday Healing Mass for Separated and Divorced Catholics on Dec. 2 at St. Pius X Church in ­Indianapolis.

“You’ve come up against a [difficult marital] situation and it’s the toughest thing you’ve probably ever faced,” Father Dan said. “… Imagine what a wonderful world we would live in if we stopped fighting. … No matter how we might justify the wars in our lives, no matter how we might struggle with those wars and how we are fighting them, it’s clear from our grieving that war, struggling and fighting with one another does not square with God’s ultimate plan, with God’s ultimate intentions, for any of us.”

The Jewish word “shalom” means “peace” as well as “wholeness, completeness [and] fruitfulness,” he explained. “Shalom is a state of being where there is no shadow of fear or anxiety, only harmony undisturbed by any threat of discord. … Our world today reminds us that this vision of shalom needs to be as much a part of our own future as it was for the future of the people in the time of [the prophet] Isaiah.”

Father Dan is the pastor of St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Center at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., and helps with the Church’s divorce ministry in the archdiocese and Lafayette Diocese.

On this first Sunday of Advent, he said, we are waiting, in a sort of darkness, for the light of Christ.

“We know that long ago that darkness was lit up by Christ’s coming,” he said. “Christ fulfilled God’s promise of redemption for all of us so we celebrate … in our Eucharist [the reality that] Christ will come again. So we wait. … But we don’t wait passively.”

Scripture tells us that only God knows the hour when he will come into our lives, Father Dan said. “If we are faithful to Jesus’ words, we will be ready because we will already be engaged in doing the work that Christ calls us to do. Our preparation for Christ’s return is being busy doing the things that we’re supposed to be doing instead of fretting about what we didn’t do or what we should have done.”

Jesus calls us to help others who are struggling in life, he said, and in so doing to become a peacemaker in daily life.

“Act like brothers and sisters toward one another,” he said. “It’s the greatest healing you can experience.”

Prepare for “the shalom of God” by demonstrating hospitality, sharing, empathy, kindness, caring and love, Father Dan said, even in the midst of the dark and desperate moments of our lives.

In this way, he said, we will become “a people of light, a people of hope” during Advent and throughout the year.

During a healing service as part of the liturgy, he reminded the gathering that their presence at Mass shows their commitment to Jesus and the Church.

“Your faith commitment may have been tested when you found yourself divorced as a Christian and as a Catholic, a way of life that puts a very high value on the sacramentality of marriage,” he said. “For your efforts to seek a deeper faith amidst this painful reality [of separation and divorce], you are to be commended. God reminds us in today’s reading [Mt 24:37-44] of his plan for our salvation. He calls us to be awake, to be aware.

“The experience of divorce brings us face to face with a temporary darkness in our lives that we might want to acknowledge as we move toward this season of Advent,” Father Dan said.

“… God calls us to prepare for a reality even greater than marriage. He promises us that he will come, but reminds us that we need to be looking and searching and waiting for him.”

After the Mass, Marilyn Hess, associate director of the archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries, said it is important for separated and divorced Catholics to celebrate the holidays—perhaps in new and different ways—with their families even in the midst of their grief.

“The readings for this Mass were very meaningful to people in the process of going through divorce,” Hess said. “… The journey continues and we’re looking forward to the light.”

St. Mark the Evangelist parishioner Louis Lopez of Indianapolis assists with divorce ministry as a volunteer “Divorce and Beyond” program facilitator at his parish and for the archdiocese.

It’s important for separated and divorced Catholics to stay active with their parish and family during the Christmas holiday, Lopez said, and to focus on renewing their faith.

“It calls to mind how necessary our faith is,” he said, “and how we all draw closer during a crisis. … [It’s important to] look at it from a prayer perspective and to realize that we’re not alone.”†