‘God’s Plan for Joy-filled Marriage’ explores intimacy

Christ the King parishioner Sheila Kaufman of Indianapolis begins the first of a series of presentations and discussions during the “God’s Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage” program on May 17 at St. Anthony Parish in Indianapolis. With her husband, Chris, she presented “In the Beginning: Male and Female He Created Them.” (Submitted photo)

By Mary Ann Wyand

Christ raises marriage to a sacrament and restores humanity to holiness.

That reality, based on the teachings of the late Pope John Paul II on the Theology of the Body, is a key theme of “God’s Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage,” a marriage preparation and enrichment program written by Catholic author Christopher West and published by Ascension Press.

The program is available to parishes in central and southern Indiana through the archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries.

“The beauty of the ‘God’s Plan’ program is that it confronts the negative context of our culture with positive values,” explained Daniel Sarell, director of the Family Ministries Office, which facilitates the presentations by trained volunteer couples and individuals.

“It’s one thing to recognize that our society has allowed the holiness of marriage to slip into disposability,” Sarell said. “It is quite another thing to lift marriage up for what God intended—a living sign of Christ’s love for his Church, which is permanent, indissoluble, unconditional and life-giving.”

Sarell said the program encourages couples to ask “How do our marriage vows really call us to live?” and “How does marriage fit into God’s creative design for humanity?”

He said presentations examine the history of salvation from God’s original plan for Adam and Eve through the reality of Original Sin and the redemption won for humanity through Christ’s Paschal Mystery.

“ ‘God’s Plan’ for marriage as a total gift of self, understood through the Scriptures, serves as an antidote to the contraceptive mentality,” Sarell said, “which turns partners divisively inward rather than reciprocally outward. It is the difference between giving a gift and receiving it gratefully or simply taking for one’s own selfish desires.”

Outward generosity in marriage involves openness to children, he said, and willingness to practice Natural Family Planning techniques approved by the

Church rather than use artificial methods of contraception.

The sacrament of marriage also requires the husband and wife to reverence the dignity of the whole person—both body and soul, Sarell said. “West states in his book Good News about Sex and Marriage [that] when ‘we invite Christ into our passions and desires and allow him to purify them … we begin more fully to experience our sexuality, not as a desire for selfish gratification, but as the desire to give ourselves away in imitation of Christ.’ ”

Cultural values and media messages equate love with lust, Sarell said, which can negatively affect married life.

“Our faith emphasizes not only the power and necessity of relying on God’s grace and mercy,” he said, “but [also] Christ has given us the sanctifying grace of sacramental reconciliation and food for the journey in the Eucharist.”

Sarell said the “God’s Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage” program can serve as a first step for engaged and married couples to encounter the beauty of these teachings and study Natural Family Planning, which is taught throughout the archdiocese.

“NFP provides couples [with] a completely natural, reliable and morally consistent means by which they can remain open to God’s gift of children,” he said, “while having the discretion to space the births of their children through periodic abstinence when that is the responsible thing to do.”

He said NFP enables couples to experience intimate, honest and open communication about sexuality in marriage.

Christ the King parishioners Chris and Sheila Kaufman and St. Luke the Evangelist parishioners Alejandro and Barbara De Gortari facilitate marriage preparation programs at their Indianapolis parishes and are trained volunteer presenters for the “God’s Plan” program.

The Kaufmans celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary on June 1, and have three children and 11 grandchildren.

“There are a couple of main points that we want to make sure we get across to couples,” Sheila Kaufman said. “Marriage is a sacrament. … Marriage is meant to be forever, and it becomes your job to help your spouse get to heaven.”

She hopes more couples will embrace “God’s Plan” because it helps them talk about sexuality as well as experience deeper intimacy and respect for life.

Chris Kaufman said presenting marriage preparation programs has strengthened their own relationship.

The De Gortaris have been married for 36 years and have three children.

“This [program] is so powerful and so meaningful,” Alex De Gortari said. “ … It is an opportunity for couples to enrich their marriage in a way that is going to be forever. … It brings everything to such a basic understanding of God’s plan.”

Barbara De Gortari said all the experiences that couples share in marriage are gifts from a loving God.

“[‘God’s Plan’] shows the depth and the beauty of the relationship between a husband and a wife,” she said. “… It shows through history how Christ restores marriage, … how Christ brings new hope to marriage. Christ is the ultimate wedding guest. A marriage without the wine that Christ can provide, and the love and focus that he can provide, is like the cheap wine at the wedding [feast of Cana, Jn 2:1-11]. He totally enriches the relationship and gives it a whole new dimension.”

(To schedule the “God’s Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage” program at a parish, call the archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries at 317-236-1596 or 800-382-9836, ext. 1596, or contact Daniel Sarell at dsarell@archindy.org.) †