Hoping for a deeper bond with the youth in your life? Consider this event

By John Shaughnessy

Paul Sifuentes shares a wonderful tradition of celebrating birthdays in his family.

It’s a tradition that also captures the goal of an upcoming event in the archdiocese that Sifuentes believes will help any adult have a deeper relationship with youths—and then help the youths have a deeper relationship with God.

His family’s birthday tradition is a counterbalance to all the planning that parents put into celebrating a child’s birthday—who gets invited, what kind of cake the child wants, what presents should we give the child, and how much do we need to clean the house for the celebration.

“Those are all good things, but are we stopping in the midst of all the busyness to recognize the child in front of us?” asks Sifuentes, a parent of five with his wife Alexa.

“So on their birthday, we all go around as a family and say things we love about the birthday person. That’s a way for us to focus on who that person is in front of us.”

Stopping to recognize the youths in our lives—and to interact at a deeper level with them—is also the focus of this year’s “Into the Heart” event that the archdiocese’s Office of Youth Ministry will hold at Roncalli High School in Indianapolis on Aug. 14.

The event is open to any adult from across the archdiocese who has a connection with a youth—parents, teachers, coaches, youth ministers, priests, grandparents—basically any adult, says Sifuentes, the director of youth ministry in the archdiocese. The theme of this year’s event is “Known by Name.” (Related: Calling all adults who have a young person in their lives)

“We all have a desire to be known,” notes the promotional material for the event. “Young people especially have a need to be known by the adults in their lives.”

The event will provide practical advice and tips to help adults make a deeper connection with youths, with the ultimate goal of helping youths connect more deeply with God and the Church.

“The more we can have adults accompany a young person—whether it’s in a program or on a basketball court—is good for our Church. Because we’re losing our young people,” Sifuentes says. “And many times, it is because young people just come in and out of all the things we do. How many times do we take the time to get to know them?

“Sometimes young people leave because they never had a relationship with us, the Church. It’s not a relationship with a key piece of dogma, it’s us. We’re the Church. That’s why it’s important for us to form these relationships. To even say hello could really be important in the life of a young person.”

To show the importance of knowing someone by name, Sifuentes uses the story of Jesus and Zacchaeus (Lk 19:1-10), a tax collector who made his wealth at the expense of others. When Zacchaeus climbs a tree to see Christ among a crowd, Jesus calls him by name and invites himself to the tax collector’s house.

“Zacchaeus is not living the best life. Jesus says, ‘I’m coming to your house today,’ and Zacchaeus changes his life,” Sifuentes says. “In the same way, Jesus meets us and says, ‘Accept me into your home, accept me into your life, and you’ll change your ways.’

“A crucial part of that story is that Jesus calls him by name—and how important it is for us as leaders to know the young people we serve. How do we do that? As parents, how do we get to know our kids better? As coaches, how do we get to know our kids better, not just that we’re running a play, but we know who these individuals are? That’s really what the day is all about. It’s about asking young people their name and then getting to know them. It’s about knowing who they are.”

Sifuentes says the hope for the day is to inspire, motivate and equip adults with practical ways to interact with youths—to even take the risk of starting a deeper-than-usual conversation with them.

“Sometimes people get intimidated, like, ‘How do I bring my grandkids back to the faith.?’ It’s about talking about life from your perspective of faith. It’s talking about how important that is to you. When you do that, and you know who they are, that means huge amounts,” he says.

“The last time I checked, kids still go through problems. Life is not perfect. So there are opportunities to have those conversations and accompany them.” †