Faith and Family / Sean Gallagher

Help children learn how to use tools of good works

I’ll be honest: I’m not very handy.

Put a tool—any tool—in my hand and the results aren’t going to be great.

This can be a pretty big gap in a dad resumé. It’s pretty common for dads to teach their kids how to use a power drill, to paint a room or to clear the plug on a bathroom sink.

So, as my five boys have grown up, I’ve felt a little uncomfortable that I haven’t been able to pass on household skills that would serve them well when they eventually live on their own.

But my boys have been pretty resourceful. Most of them have picked up on working around the house through trial and error and guidance from an assortment of people—especially my wife Cindy, my father-in-law and my dad before he passed away last year.

Now, when a screen door needs adjusting, a new dryer duct needs to be installed or some plaster work needs to be done in the house, my teenage sons can usually take care of it pretty well.

My 14-year-old son Philip has shown ambition in his household skills. One project this summer that he was eager to get started on was building a work bench in the basement. After Cindy and I gave him the go ahead, he had a list of supplies that he’d identified—some 2-by-4’s, plywood panels, some specialized drill bits and an assortment of screws, among other things.

Once those were secured, Philip tackled the project on his own with zest and was done in about a week.

When he proudly unveiled it to us, I soon saw how I had had an effect on it, even with my deficiency in handiness.

There on a plywood panel at the back of the bench, between some shelves he had attached to it, were big black stenciled words in capital letters that he had spray painted: ORA ET LABORA.

It’s the Latin motto of Benedictines and translates as, “Pray and work.”

Philip choosing, on his own initiative without any suggestion from another adult, to put this faith-filled message on his workbench was gratifying.

It showed that the faith Cindy and I have sought to instill in him during the past 14 years is starting to take root and blossom. And it made me realize that maybe I’d been teaching him how to use some tools all along in my love for the spirituality of St. Benedict.

Chapter four of Benedict’s Rule for Monks is titled the “Tools for Good Works.” In it, Benedict provides monks with a list of 45 virtues (or tools) that, with the help of God’s grace, guide them on the road to salvation and to foster good community life in the monastery.

There are no great secrets among the tools, and they are helpful for all people—not just monks. They include the Ten Commandments, various corporal and spiritual works of mercy, different ways of disciplining the body, fostering humility and living well with others.

I make no claim to use Benedict’s tools of good works any better than I handle a screwdriver or saw. But at the very least, my boys see me trying to use these tools daily, even if the results aren’t so good.

And I’ve seen them also trying their hand at the tools of good works—even if it’s often against their inclination and only by order of Cindy or me.

Maybe the 1,500-year-old wisdom of St. Benedict may help Philip to master both his use of the tools of his workbench and the tools of good works as well. For when we bring together more as one our ora and our labora, then God can work wonders in us beyond our imagination. †