Retreat launches local Life-Giving Wounds chapter for adults whose parents divorced or separated
By Natalie Hoefer
An archdiocesan chapter of Life-Giving Wounds (LGW), an international Catholic ministry for adults whose parents divorced or separated, will launch with an LGW team-led retreat at Our Lady of Fatima Retreat House in Indianapolis on May 3-5.
Gabriela Ross has seen for some time the need for such a ministry.
“I see in my marriage preparation ministry how divorce affects a person’s choice to embrace the vocation of marriage, and how the unaddressed wounds of their family of origin bring discord into their new family life,” said the director of the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life.
“While there has been some awareness and response to the needs of Catholics who experience divorce,” she said, there was little in the way of Church ministry to address “the wounds and effects of divorce on children, whether they were in childhood or adulthood when the family breakdown took place.”
She began to see a solution to that ministerial need a few years ago after speaking with someone who had attended an LGW retreat.
“They spoke about how they benefited from it and how it impacted their life,” said Ross. “I started having conversations with other people locally who went on a retreat, and they mentioned the impact it had on their faith life—even, for one, deciding to stay in the Church—and how much hope it gave them. So, I knew it was a good thing and a unique ministry of healing that falls under the umbrella of marriage and family life.”
The retreat is for adults age 18 and older who, at any point in their life, experienced the divorce or separation of their parents.
The retreats are divided into three topics, according to the Life-Giving Wounds website. First, it notes, is “uncovering and grieving various layers of the wound” participants experienced in their parents’ separation or divorce. The focus then shifts to “accepting their deepest identity as a beloved child of God and becoming more aware of Christ in their lives and wounds.” Finally, the retreat helps participants discover “a way forward to sustain healing and a mission in the midst of their suffering.”
The retreat offers keynotes by “national experts,” as well as “small group sharing, led by national team leaders, to provide a closer-knit community to walk with through the retreat apart from the general sessions,” Ross said.
“It’s a peer ministry, so the people leading it are [primarily] adult children of divorce,” Bethany Meola, co-founder of the ministry with her husband Daniel, said in an article in the Feb. 17, 2023, issue of The Criterion. “So they can give that witness of having gone through the experience of healing through Christ and are able to give back to others. It’s a blessing for people to hear from those who really get it.”
To further help mend the wounds created by the divorce or separation of one’s parents, the retreat includes the spiritual healing of Mass on Saturday and Sunday, as well as the opportunity for adoration and the sacrament of reconciliation.
Amanda DeRoche is excited to have the LGW retreat offered in the archdiocese. Previously the distance was too great for her to attend a retreat in person, although she has attended two online retreats.
“We know [divorce and separation are] not what God intended, so it creates a wound,” said the member of St. John the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis. “It’s the loss of your parents’ love together, regardless of how that pans out, positive or negative, because we know what God intended for the sacrament of marriage.”
The LGW retreat is “a good base for exploring this part of your life story,” said DeRoche. “It brings in psychology and science along with theology” and allows participants to not only “share the same life experience, but also share your theological viewpoint. I can talk to friends at the office whose parents divorced, but it’s different when you can talk about it with people who share your faith.”
After the retreat, a support group will be created to “build community with those on the retreat, to walk with others locally and to help other Catholics who experienced those wounds find support,” said Ross, who added that attending the retreat is not a prerequisite for joining the support group.
Launching the archdiocesan Life-Giving Wounds chapter was made possible by a “generous grant” through the archdiocesan Catholic Community Foundation, said Ross.
“The goal would be, in the future, if there’s enough interest and enough leaders, to have a local ministry with follow-up retreats and support groups,” she said.
“From my heart, I only want the best for the people in the archdiocese and the families of the archdiocese, and to support them,” said Ross. “And to me, Life-Giving Wounds is the best ministry out there for this specific wound.
“I feel like this ministry is needed to heal the generational wounds caused to people and families by divorce and separation.”
(The Life-Giving Wounds retreat will be held at Our Lady of Fatima Retreat House, 5353 E. 56th St., in Indianapolis, on May 3-5. It is for those age 18 and older. While involving a Catholic perspective, the retreat is open to those no longer practicing the faith and those of other faiths. The cost is $275, or $185 for consecrated religious and for college students ages 18-25. For more information or to register, go to marriageandfamily.archindy.org/lgw. For questions, contact Gabriela Ross, director of the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life, at gross@archindy.org or 317-592-4007.) †
